Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
