I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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