So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
