Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
