this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
