So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
try to milk me bitch
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