how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize