The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
