i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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