Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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