i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
