don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
NoShamevember. You game?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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