she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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