In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
