Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
