Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
