Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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