so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
