We're facebook friends in real life
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
