Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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