Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
