Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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