I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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