My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
