i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
