Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
