It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
