It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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