drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
