So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
