It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
