you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
