he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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