Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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