he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
