It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
