i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
