My room smells like vodka and shame
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
