I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
