Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
