What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
