home. puking in laundry basket.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
