I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
