Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
