I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How's work?
Spinning.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I could fuck to npr.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
