The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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