Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
