Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize