So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize