please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
