toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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