based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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