What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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