i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
