He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
