He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
