you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
