My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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