if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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