Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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