im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
