he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
