if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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