weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
