did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
