She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
